Many people try substitute
activities in order to delay or distract from self injuring. While these activities
will not work for everyone, sometimes they can help, even if for a few minutes.
One way to increase the chances of a distraction/substitution helping calm
the urge to harm is to match what you do to how you are feeling at the moment.
While this list is no way complete, if you find that something doesn't work
for you, move on to something else. If you wish to add anything to this list,
please let me know.
First, take a few moments and look behind the urge. What are
you feeling? Are you angry? Frustrated? Restless? Sad? Craving the feeling
of self injury? Depersonalized and unreal or numb? Unfocused?
Next, match the activity to the feeling.
A few examples:
Angry, Frustrated, Restless
Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing:
- Slash an empty
plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.
- Make a soft cloth
doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of
yourself.
- Flatten aluminum
cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.
- Hit a punching
bag.
- Use a pillow
to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.
- Rip up an old
newspaper or phone book.
- On a sketch or
photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the
picture.
- Make Play-Doh
or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.
- Throw ice into
the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
- Break sticks.
- Yell at what
you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
- Crank up the
music and dance.
- Clean your room
(or your whole house).
- Go for a walk/jog/run.
- Stomp around
in heavy shoes.
- Play handball
or tennis.
- Scratch draw
a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at a piece
of wood.
- Take the item
that you are self injuring with and use it against something else. For example,
if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel or plastic pop bottle.
Sometimes seeing what “can” be done to an object can make a
person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling
of “doing it”.
Sad, Soft, Melancholy, Depressed,
Unhappy
Do something slow and soothing:
- taking a hot
bath with bath oil or bubbles
- curling up under
a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
- babying yourself
somehow
- Do whatever
makes you feel taken care of and comforted
- Light sweet-smelling
incense
- Listen to soothing
music
- Smooth nice body
lotion into the parts or yourself you want to hurt
- Call a friend
and just talk about things that you like
- Make a tray of
special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read
- Visit a friend
- Instead of harming
yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams,
reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself
and your body with love and respect
Craving Sensation, Feeling Depersonalized,
Dissociating, Feeling Unreal
Do something that creates a sharp physical sensation:
- Squeeze ice hard
(this really hurts). (Note: putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives
you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of
like burning would.)
- Put a finger
into a frozen food (like ice cream) for a minute
- Bite into a hot
pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
- Rub icy-hot under
your nose
- Focus on what
is real and around you right then. Start listing of things around you in
detail ie: colour, texture, smell, shape, etc.
- Slap a tabletop
hard
- Snap your wrist
with a rubber band
- Take a cold bath
- Stomp your feet
on the ground
- Focus on how
it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each
breath.
Wanting Focus
Do a task (a computer game
like tetris or minesweeper, writing a computer program, needlework, etc) that
is exacting and requires focus and concentration:
- Eat a raisin mindfully.
Pick it up, noticing how it feels in your hand. Look at it carefully; see
the asymmetries and think about the changes the grape went through. Roll
the raisin in your fingers and notice the texture; try to describe it. Bring
the raisin up to your mouth, paying attention to how it feels to move your
hand that way. Smell the raisin; what does it remind you of? How does a
raisin smell? Notice that you're beginning to salivate, and see how that
feels. Open your mouth and put the raisin in, taking time to think about
how the raisin feels to your tongue. Chew slowly, noticing how the texture
and even the taste of the raisin change as you chew it. Are there little
seeds or stems? How is the inside different from the outside? Finally, swallow.
- Choose an object in
the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description
of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color,
possible uses, feel, etc.
- Choose a random object,
like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
- Pick a subject and
research it on the web
Wanting To See
Blood
- Draw on yourself with
a red felt-tip pen
- Take a small bottle
of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup
of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against
the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing
it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
- Draw on the areas you
want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of
red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells
- Paint yourself with
red tempera paint
wanting to see scars or pick scabs
- Get a henna tattoo
kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day
you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark
behind
- Another thing that
helps sometimes is the fifteen-minute game. Tell yourself that if you still
want to harm yourself in 15 minutes, you can. When the time is up, see if
you can go another 15
*Most of this list was taken
from http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fself.html
with some additions and minor changes*